5 Creative Ways to Discipline Your Kids

August 30, 2011, By Steve Kissing 6 comments

Steve Kissing

About ten years ago an Ohio judge who had found two men guilty of harassing a woman ordered them, as part of their sentence, to dress up like ladies and walk down Main Street. This inspired me to inject some creativity into how I discipline my children. Before going any further, let me make it clear that I am not, repeat not, a child psychologist or a behaviorist. I have no Ph.D., though as the father of four daughters, I do feel deserving of an honorary degree in Barbies and boy bands. Anyway, I have no academic credentials to support the alleged wisdom of my unconventional discipline techniques. And while experts may cringe, I can vouch for the fact that they’ve worked for me. Here’s hoping they work for you.

1. Daddy Loves Treats, Too. When my kids act up and lose out on a promised treat, I sometimes underscore the message a little. How? By eating⎯with over-the-top delight⎯the candy or ice cream that otherwise would have been theirs. This little maneuver drives them crazy and virtually guarantees that they’ll toe the line for days. Besides, I like Sour Patch Kids as much as any 10-year-old.

2. Pay Commensurate with Experience. When my older kids don’t do their chores on time or with enough attention to detail, I do more than withhold some or all of their allowance. I make them pay me. I have explained that because I have considerably more experience when it comes to dishwashing, dusting and vacuuming, my compensation is deservedly higher. So when my kids fall short in the chore column, not only do they forgo their $10 allowance, they end up paying me $15. I’ve only had to do this twice. Trust me, it’s very effective. And profitable.

3. A Facebook Post You Don’t Want to See. When my older daughters launched their Facebook pages, I demanded that they friend me, so that I’d see their broadly shared posts. I also insisted that I know their usernames and passwords so that I could take an occasional look at other content they’re writing and sharing. I made it very clear to them that if I ever saw something objectionable (inappropriate language, bullying, etc.), I would log onto their account and post something on their wall that they would rather the world not see, such as a photo of me in a Speedo. I have yet to see this threat through, which speaks, I believe, to its effectiveness. And its genius.

4. The Meaning of Time. When a daughter of mine breaks curfew, I assume that she has somehow forgotten the concept of time and needs a refresher course about how seconds add up to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days. This study of time takes thought and focus. And what better way to grasp a constantly moving subject than to slow it down? One of the best ways that I know to do that is to watch C-Span. So for every minute my daughters are late, they have to sit and attentively watch five minutes of C-Span and then write a thoughtful essay summarizing what they saw. If they’re more than 30 minutes late, I resort to more drastic measures: watching paint dry.

5. My Personal Texting Assistant. My oldest daughter has her learner’s permit, and I’m teaching her to drive. One of my constant messages to her has been that texting while driving is potentially deadly. I’ve already told her that if I ever find her texting behind the wheel, she will lose her driving privileges for three months, at a minimum. I also said that if she breaks this rule, she will have to spend the next four weekends constantly at my side, taking dictation and key-stroking all my texts and emails, while I play ping-pong, watch “Ice Road Truckers” or take a drive to the hardware store.