Building Your Son's Self Esteem
November 11, 2011, By James Pilcher 1 comment
I feel a bit strange writing about self-esteem and parenting because, like most dads, being a father actually wreaks all kinds of havoc on my own self-esteem. With three sons who are 14, 11 and 5, I'm learning new lessons all the time, but for extra help I called a couple of professionals to get their take on this topic, specifically when it comes to boys. Because as sexist or un-politically correct as this may sound, raising boys is MUCH different from raising girls.
I contacted William Beausay II, a Houston-based writer and speaker who is the author of "Boys! Shaping Ordinary Boys Into Extraordinary Men." He wrote a similar book about girls, and has penned more than 20 books and is a widely sought after motivational speaker. (His site is www.beausay.com).
I also got in touch with Ted Ossege, who co-owns Viewpoint Psychological Services in Northern Kentucky near Cincinnati with his wife, Jennifer.
Combining their expertise and my own experience raising three sons, I offer the following guidelines to think about when building your boy's self esteem:
Do as I Do, Not as I Say
As Bill Beausay says, those kids whose parents have good self-esteem will probably have it themselves.
"If you snivel and cry when things go wrong and blame everyone else, how do you think your kids will turn out?" Beausay says.
This insight brings up a cherished personal memory. You know those "Who's Your Hero?" projects kids have in elementary school? Well, about five years ago I was out of work. And without any coaching from myself or my wife, my oldest son wrote that his dad was his hero "for never giving up looking for a job, going to meetings and trying as hard as he could and not getting down on himself."
Yes, I still get a little dusty when I remember that one...must be doing something right.
NEXT: Failure Equals Success
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