The Art of Naming Kids

February 01, 2011, By 12 comments

The Art of Naming Kids

Congratulations! You’re pregnant.

Having a boy? A girl? It doesn’t matter. Either way you’re still going to be faced with the toughest challenge any pre-parent can face: choosing a name.

Our generation is determined to be unique. We are the ones who grew up with legions of Brittanys, Melissas, Jennifers and Haileys in our classes. Each only distinguished from the other by the first letter of their last name.

You can track the popularity of baby names through the years online to try and anticipate your chosen name’s popularity. (For the record, the quota of Aiden, Braden, Jaden, Kaden and other soundalikes has been reached).

So we try to be different. You want to name your son something classic, but instead decide to spell it in a fresh way. You decide on M-A-R-C-K-E. You know, to set him apart from the others. It’s a traditional, classic name, but we’re still determined to be unique.

Why are we doing this to our kids?

When you go to Disneyland for his 8th birthday, you won’t find a mug with “M-A-R-C-K-E” on it. There will be lots of “M-A-R-K” mugs and maybe a few “M-A-R-C” ones, but none with your spelling - because your son is unique.

Later, when he’s an adult, he’ll be constantly frustrated by having to correct others who will either mispronounce or misspell his unique name every single time.

I’m not accusing here, I’m guilty of this too. My son is Zacharie. I insisted he have a French name, so we adopted that spelling, but at swimming lessons, art classes and other drop-in events where people scribble out a name tag for him, it’s always “Z-A-C-H-A-R-Y.”

Hrmph.

If you’re choosing a name for your kids, make it simple. Make it classic. Make it elegant. But don’t go crazy.

Alanis Morrissette just had a son, she named him Ever. What’s that? Could you see yourself making an appointment to see Dr. Ever?

Sometimes you just have to be like Elton John and David Furnish, who recently welcomed a son they named Zachary. They had been given all sorts of baby name books and they thumbed through them looking for spiritual meanings and messages and uniqueness until they realized their son is unique because of who he is, not his name. They put the book back on the shelf and went with their heart.

You should do the same thing. 

Comments (12):

Anonymous C. My wife works at a courthouse. She says that lower class people use unique name spellings for their children to make it easier to get bonds when they get into legal trouble. If a first and last name combo is very common, it can be difficult to get a bond because of confusion with other lawbreakers. - 08/23/2011
Eli L. this is why i'm naming my baby nutella - 06/28/2011
Naia Z. Having a classic name doesn't guarantee people will be able to pronounce or spell it! You'd think "Katherine" wouldn't be hard, but people want to spell it "Catherine", so you say "Katherine with a 'K'!" and they spell it "Kathryn". Then there are the people who can't even pronounce it-- they say "Kathreen". And this is a name that's been around for centuries, not something weird or trendy! - 06/27/2011
Charlie P. I think at this point, being different is no longer unique. When looking back in twenty or thirty years, people with traditional names and spellings will be seen as the ones who 'followed their own path' rather than following the masses and fitting in. - 06/10/2011
Janelle S. itd be Dr. Morrissette. not Dr. Ever. But at a Janelle, I know how hard it is to find personalized items. i hated my name as a child because i was born in 80 and everyone was Jennifer. Nowadays I love my name and have since my teen years. its not too out there, and luckily my mom had an embroidery machine, so she makes me all the custom things i desire :) - 05/24/2011
Zsintaya J. ... My parent's decided right away, when my oldest sister was born and my mum was an only parent, that all her kids were going to have different names. My family is uniquely large, with 9 sets of aunts, and over 100 cousins and neices and nephews and so on. My parent's knew that to not be lost in the jumble, we were going to have different names. Hence my sisters; Ambra, Solara, and Ce'nedra. And me, Zsintaya. Yes we have to spell it, but after a while, people are hearing more different spellings, that they just ask everybody to spell it. The DMV asked my friend Jessica how to spell her name... - 04/26/2011
Jennyfer A. I still hold on to my idea of Theoden for a boy, and Eowyn for a girl. I was given a unique spelling and I don't know the story behind it because I was adopted when I was older, but even before Lord of the Rings came out as movies I wanted these names. - 03/14/2011
Chris G. Totally agree. A person needs to be unique... the name is just icing (within reason). Also, it doesn't matter what you do to be "unique" someone will come along and spoil it or you're naming your child something so weird no one will ever take them seriously... we were at the zoo at Christmas and some of the workers were making up songs about the names of the kids who were watching. A man called out an unintelligible name. They asked if they had the right name... no. He called it again, they still didn't understand. Finally, he yelled "INTELLIGENT like, you know, smart". He's fuming by this time. I mean, seriously, how stupid can you be, you name your kid "Intelligent" and you're mad that other people can't understand it as a name... especially when you speak in a mush-mouth mumble? Also, if you feel the need to name your child "Intelligent," it's a good probability that neither of you are or will be. I understand the lure of an unusual name, believe me, I grew up a "Chris" in the 70s where everyone male and female had some version or spelling of the name. I wasn't ever going to do that to my child. I've loved the name "Emma" my entire life. We checked popularity charts, it was safely at 17 on the SSI name charts (at least the ones that were published before she was born). Not too popular but obviously not dorky either. I perused Baby Nursery websites watching all of the names that others were giving their daughters... saw no Emma's. So we felt safe when we chose it for her. Then two weeks after she was born, Ross and Rachel on Friends named their daughter "Emma" and the nightmare begun. Not only is there Emma and Emily but also Emmett (thanks to Twilight)... I did the same thing to my kid that had happened to me. Luckily at her school, she's the only Emma in her class (there are a couple of Emily's) but there are a TON of younger Emma's and Emmett's. - 03/14/2011
Tracey F. Great points...we named our daughter Ceilidh (pronounced Kaylee) as we wanted a Gaelic name. I LOVE it, but we are constantly having to say it and spell it for people. I know it will be a real issue when she starts school! - 03/11/2011
Arieanna S. That's why, even though the world had "reached its quota" of Aiden's, we still went with the name. It felt like it was right for our son, and he'll still be unique because of who he is. - 03/11/2011
Sara W. I couldn't agree more. I named my daughter Evelyn Rachel, after two family members. My family was honored, my daughter has a beautiful, classic name, and everyone's happy. - 03/08/2011
Chris A. I agree. People shouldn't have to spell their names out constantly. And yes, unique names aren't the only thing to make someone special, it's their personalities. - 02/23/2011

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