How to Help Your Kids with Homework

April 29, 2011, By Kurt Simonsen 2 comments

"Daddy, can you help me with this word problem," my seven-year-old daughter asked one evening. I looked at her paper and struggled with the math for a bit before I started to think about what I was doing—not with the math, but with my daughter.

Kids feel vulnerable when tackling their homework, especially if they don't understand it well. Most will ask for your help, which actually means: Can you do this for me?

To make homework time simpler and more enjoyable, consider the following.

Be patient. Abrupt responses do more damage than you think. As a teacher, I have seen many kids come to school completely dejected. After I've spoken with them about their poor performances, many have told me that their mom or dad makes them feel stupid because they don't understand the material. Wow. That's plain terrible. Kids all learn differently. Each one needs time and encouragement, no matter how old they are. As a dad, don't judge your kids while they're doing their homework. It's a time to try new skills and to accept the making of mistakes.

Let mistakes happen. Sure, help them understand how to do it, but do not walk them all the way to the answer. Explain to them how to develop their ideas better while writing an essay, but do not rewrite it for them. They have to own the final product for two reasons. First, they must take full responsibility for their education or else it will never really matter to them. Second, the teacher needs to see the mistakes to help the child learn. To an educator, homework is a key evaluating tool, an indicator of basic knowledge.

Be active. Too many parents think merely being in the room is helping with homework. You need to take an active role in the process. Do not merely ask what your child is doing or reading; look at it and ask questions. Try to see how much they know. Ask them to write a question for you to answer or have them read out loud to you. Try getting the same book they are reading for class and read along so you can talk about it. Become a part of who they are becoming.

As always, you'll get some resistance as the child gets older. Here's the secret I have discovered after 15 years in the classroom: Kids want their parents to care more than they do. They don't always say it or show it, but they notice when it is not there. All people love attention, and each person longs for success.

Be clever and involved with homework, and you'll see a true difference in your child.