10 Ignominious Moments in Dad History
June 18, 2010, By Jack Heffron 0 comments
- Abraham to sacrifice his son IsaacIn the Book of Genesis, God tells as a sign of loyalty. Abraham was told to tie up the boy, stab him to death then place him on a burning pile of wood. Since the voice is deep and disembodied, Abe assumes it belongs to God and says okee-doke. He takes his son to a nearby hill and, in an act of ultimate indignity, even makes Ike, who is unaware of the plan, carry the wood for the pyre. When Abraham raises the knife for the kill, an angel swoops down and stops him. Close one. Isaac says no harm, no foul, though it’s not clear if the pair ever worked through the trust issues that surely must have arisen afterward.
- Cartoons have given us some terrible dads—see Simpson, Homer and Griffin, Peter. But the worst might be tyrannical Brian Banner. He abused his son Bruce and killed Bruce’s mom. Bruce repressed his rage and became a mild-mannered physicist until errant gamma rays turned him into the Incredible Hulk, who pretty much personified pissed off. Bruce later “accidentally” killed his father, proving that bad dad moments sometimes involve reaping and sowing. For further proof, see Brothers, The Menendez.
- When it comes to TV dads, we’ve all seen our share of bad ones, from Al Bundy to Tony Soprano to Lost’s Anthony Cooper. But our favorite bad dad was Frank Costanza on Seinfeld. Through a lifetime of stupidity and rage, Frank managed to turn son George into a neurotic mess. Frank even invented a holiday - Festivus! - to celebrate the family’s dysfunction with “feats of strength” and other insidious traditions guaranteed to feed George’s misery forever.
- On September 19, 2002, Chicago’s William Ligue, Jr., took 15-year-old son Bill III to watch the White Sox play the Royals. What better place for dad-son bonding than a ballgame? And to make the bond even stronger, Dad turned to his boy during the game and said something like, “Hey, sport, what say me and you jump the rail and go beat the (Shillelagh) out of the old man coaching first?” Young Bill replied, “Golly, pop, that’d be swell.” So they did. Sure, they were arrested, but in 2009, Bill III posted a photo on his MySpace page with the loving caption “ME AND DAD (FUNNELING) UP THA COACH FA THA KANSAS CITY ROYALS.” You just never know what moments will touch your kids forever.
- Few activities offer more potential for bad dad moments than coaching sports. You board that testosterone train at your own risk. Tennis dad Jim Pierce jumped the track so often with his daughter Mary that he was eventually banned from the tour. No doubt he was proud to see his relentless workouts and courtside tantrums taking Mary right to the top. She even made the cover of Sports Illustrated! The story, however, was titled “Why Mary Pierce Fears For Her Life.” Jim apparently hadn’t heard the one about “It’s not whether you win or lose ..."
Jack Heffron is a featured contributor for ManoftheHouse.com.
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