Thanks Dad - Hockey and My Birthday

November 27, 2010, By 1 comment

Thanks Dad - Hockey and My Birthday

Today I turn 45-years-old. I may not usually act like I’m 45, but today I officially am. I don’t remember a lot of specifics about my birthdays, but nearly every memory I do have involves my dad.

On some birthdays when my brother and I were young, Dad would take us to Knott’s Berry Farm or Magic Mountain for the day. He let us each bring a friend and I remember one year eating pizza with my friend Marc, hoping we wouldn’t yak when we hopped onto Colossus the next time.

Gradually, I’ve come to associate my birthday with hockey. But my dad knew nothing about hockey. Growing up, he taught me how to play baseball, soccer and basketball. I’m not quite sure how I first fell in love with the game – especially in Southern California. Loved it then and still do.

A couple friends worked at the old Great Western Forum and got me into a ton of Los Angeles Kings games back in the purple and gold days. To me, there was nothing better than sitting in the gold seats watching a young Luc Robitaille and Jimmy Carson skating alongside vets like Dave Taylor and Marcel Dionne. I told my dad that all the time.

While living in Chicago I began playing hockey, continuing to play even when I moved to Northern California. In the spring of 1998, my team - the Badgers – was playing for the silver division championship. My dad was there – sitting in the stands – watching me play for the first time. With him that day was his first grandchild, my eight-month-old Drama Queen. It was very cool.

I think he was proud as I skated onto the ice for warm-ups with the captain’s “C” on my jersey. I’m certain he was proud as I scored the game-tying goal midway through the third period. And I know he was proud as I picked up an assist on the game-winning goal. But, he was definitely NOT proud as I punched a guy in the face going through the post-game handshake line. It’s a long story, but this was the beginning of hockey, my dad and my birthdays.

For my 36th birthday, dad bought us a pair of tickets to see the Anaheim Ducks. He told me to pick out a game and he would buy the seats. I’ve always had a thing for the St. Louis Blues, so I chose the game on January 9, 2002. I was really looking forward to the two of us finally going to a game.

On December 28, 2001, my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and died 10 months later. He was sick, but he attended his first-ever NHL game with me that January night, and seemed to have a great time. He told me I had been right all those years; watching a hockey game in person is way better than on TV.

That birthday sticks out in my head even though the actual event took place weeks after. It still goes down as the coolest birthday. Every November I think about that night and about that game. Like I said, hockey and my birthday has become “a thing” for me.

Tonight, the Buffalo Sabres are on TV and my goal is to corral my 13-year-old daughter long enough to watch at least a couple periods against the Montreal Canadiens. She’s not a huge fan, but lately she’s been watching some football and hockey with me and I’m digging that.

There’s no birthday cake to bribe her with, but I’m sure I can get her to watch with me. All it will take is some pizza from La Nova, wings from Duffs, or better yet, both!

We all thank dad for different reasons ... check out more Thanks Dad from the Man of the House team.

Thanks Dad - Lessons in a Tee Box

Thanks Dad – Heroes

Article 10 of 19 in this series.

Comments (1):

Chukwuma A. The experience of the pre-party game resonated with mine hugely. In most cases, the cultivation of relationship with one's father initially is very burdenson. By and large, it will not be dissociated from psychological concept of Oedipus complex. The trust boys develop with their mothers exceed the one they have on their fathers. However, with time, it dawns on boys that their fathers' ways or modus agendi could be very challenging, but they are the ways to meaningful self-definition and self-redefinition as a continuum. Central to personal experience, my late mother was rather more accommodating. in some cases, she would care less. Whenever I buy food outside, I remember me the punishment my mother meted out against my brother and me for doing that. We bought rice from a female kinsgirl and we knew not who shopeed against us or reported us to our mother. It should not be surprising about who reported us to her. She had enviable social network in the neighborhood. For that she felt humiliated and condemned us to appropriate punishment. On the father handlings of critical unreasonable conduct, mine was in the way of safety. That Sunday I went to visit my maternal cousin in Oshodi, Lagos, Nigeria. He was not home. It was late. Within the period, a labor of ours lost his cousin who was in Nigeria Police in Yola State. I knew him very well. He used to watch his cousin, other neighbors, my brother and me played soccer. Indeed, I was electried with his death information. Consequently, I decided to pass the night at my colleague's home. I was working for the Nigerian National Electric Power Authority (NEPA). The colleague had a wonderful daughter whom I would not mind having as a girl friend. I never asked her for that, but I thought about it. Upon my honor, my objective for the decision was safety. I mustered up courage to return home despite the consequences. When I returned from work on Tuesday, my father called me outside and asked me about the incident. I was electrified and disappointed at reporting me to my father. However, I mustered up courage and meticulously and humbly explained the surrounding circumstances to him. I could not remember what he said and I felt deeply injured. If I were to speculate on what he said, it would be thus: "In life you have to be extraordinarily careful." In boys development, yielding to their fathers modus agendi could be very difficult, but at certain stage, the truth about life prevails - coming to term that life is not an apple-pie or pillow-fights. The harmonization stage with fathers idiosyncracies culminate into knowing the truest meaning of setting goals and attaining them - self-actualization stage. At this stage, boys balance their excessive or one-way street relationship with their mothers with the one of their fathers. Calling it equilibrium point will not be irresponsible. It is a stage boys will see their fathers and will not run away or try to hide. Without circumlocution and tergiversation, boys balancing their relationships with their parents are pleasure-giving and praiseworthy. Indeed, it is an indelible sweetful or pleasant unforgettable experience in boys' life development. - 03/22/2011

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