Thanks Dad – Teaching Me A Few Valuable Lessons
November 16, 2010, By Jeff Pugh 3 comments
As I write this, I’m doing one of the very things for which my father and I share a great passion. Through his eyes, I grew to love the very same thing, that I hope to one day pass on to my boy … a passion for something so simple, something that neither of us has any control over. It is something that we both obsess over – and more importantly – share with one another. But, I’ll get to all that.
My father – who has no idea this article is even being written – taught me too many things to try to capture in a few hundred words. I know that he’ll see this, and he’ll have two feelings – one will be ‘aw-shucks’ and he’ll deflect a lot of my finer traits to my mother’s doing, and two, will be a sense of pride because he’ll know each of these moments, but this might be the first time he’s seeing that I remember too.
Teaching me responsibility
I remember it as clear as day. It wasn’t eight months after I got my license and I thought I knew everything I needed to take off down the road. Except I didn’t. It was my first snowfall and for whatever reason, I was moving just a little too quickly through our neighborhood. As I hit that patch of black ice, I felt the car start to go from the rear, then I saw a mailbox coming right for me from a direction I didn’t think was possible.
The mailbox was on the ground, my car in a yard and a dent that made a perfect “V” wedged into my front quarter panel, but in my mind the worst was still to come. I had to head back to my house and let my Dad know what happened. But first, I had to let that neighbor - someone I’d never met - know that I’d be coming back after the ice melted to fix his mailbox. My Dad taught me to own my mistakes, learn from them and move on. I remember walking in the door only a matter of minutes after leaving and explaining what happened. To my surprise then, not now, there wasn’t any anger for the dent in my car or the neighbor’s mailbox that we’d replace, but a sense that I’d learned a valuable lesson, or two (I drive very slowly on ice now), and knew that years of teaching me that mistakes happen, we learn and move on … was sinking in.
Teaching me to give it my best
I like to consider myself athletic, but I’m not the most gifted athlete. None of that mattered in my father’s eyes. Those countless nights we spent working on my dribbling, shooting and rebounding in our driveway, were as much fun for him as they were me. His only request was to see the same effort I gave in our backyard shootouts out on the court when I was playing. It was during those games that weren’t my best efforts that I could hear two voices over the crowd – my coach from the bench and my Dad in the crowd, and my Dad’s voice was clearer. The encouragement to do the things we worked on, during the game, because he knew what I could, as long as I gave my best effort.
And I love that he turned me into a golfer. We don’t have those pickup games in the driveway anymore. Instead, we meet for an early tee time when I’m in town and take in 18 holes. And we both give it our best … to stay in the 90s.
Teaching me to be a good man, husband and father
Learning the importance of responsibility and accountability early in life was an incredibly valuable lesson for me. My Dad worked hard to provide everything for his two sons and wife. Learning that you can make anything you want a reality, but only by putting in the work. My dad taught me these traits to be a good man. Growing up and watching my parents celebrate their 45th wedding anniversary earlier this month, shows the love shared between my parents, and reaffirms for me that I can have the same.
Those lessons taught to me are now being passed on to my son, through both his father and grandfather, er Paw-paw. Watching my dad and son play, watching my son’s temper tantrums manifest in the same ways that my temper tantrums did, brings great joy to my Dad. He’s been there and done that, and sees that he did a great job. Hopefully I can do the same.
Teaching me to be passionate and have fun
That thing that my father and I share, yet have no control over … our love for a favorite college basketball team. Almost every conversation we have on the phone, in person or through e-mail at some point dives into last night’s game or tomorrow’s game. The bond that a goofy basketball team created is incredible. The trips to watch a game during the NCAA Tournament – when I was supposed to be in school – just he and I, cannot be duplicated. Some may argue that it doesn’t sound like we’re having fun when we watch a game together, with all the yelling and screaming, but I assure you we are.
I’ve listed four things, and could’ve listed many more, but I think I’ve gotten my point across. Without the life lessons passed on from my Dad to me, I wouldn’t be in a great spot to write about it today. So, thanks Dad, for being there even when you thought you weren’t because of work. You were. I’m grateful and lucky … hopefully my little boy will say the same one day.
We all thank dad for different reasons ... check out more Thanks Dad from the Man of the House team.
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