Why Vegetarians Should Eat Bacon

May 16, 2011, By 73 comments

Why Vegetarians Should Eat Bacon

Anthony Bourdain stalked around the stage, sipping every once in a while from his beer bottle and describing why he couldn’t respect the vegetarian lifestyle. Hey, he said, I don’t care what you do in the privacy of your own home. But when you travel the world, it’s not right--in fact, it’s an insult!--to forgo eating the delicacies of the country you’re visiting.

If you’re in Spain, he said, you eat ham. If you’re in Argentina, you eat beef. If you’re in Vietnam, you eat, um, the local cuisine.

His opinion is pretty much what you'd expect from a guy who recently released a book titled Medium Raw: A Bloody Valentine to the World of Food and the People Who Cook.

Later in the talk, he took questions from the audience--a couple thousand people in suburban Atlanta. One unfortunate lady had a real problem she needed Bourdain to solve, and she told the woeful tale of her seven-year-old, who had taken a vow of vegetarianism.           

“How can I get him to come back around?” asked the lady.                      

Bourdain paused a beat.      

Then he said, “Bacon.”            

And the place went wild. Because bacon, without getting too much into hyperbole, is the food of the gods. I’ve written elsewhere on Man of the House about omelets and how they’re the conduit to all your hopes and dreams. It’s no accident that bacon comes on the side.           

Bacon, though, is no sidekick. If omelets weren’t so damn delicious, bacon could have the starring role on my breakfast plate. And versatility? My lord, don’t get me started. Bacon is awesome on a baked potato, in a salad, on top of a cheeseburger and wrapped around a scallop (or, for that matter, a pork chop). Bacon makes you a better lover* and it makes you a better man.           

*My research on this is not yet complete.            

As my friend Carl says, “Bacon is like Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs. He’s only in the movie for like 10 minutes, but he’s all you remember.”           

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Comments (73):

Ron S. Two things... 1) Bacon is not the worst based on the amount of fat, calories, etc. Bacon is among the worst because of the carcinogenic nitrites. You may have heard before that it's worse than cigarettes, but It has actually been found unfit for human consumption by a 7,000 study compilation by the World Cancer Research Fund. 2) Vegetarians don't want to eat bacon. Most vegetarians (except for maybe recent converts) don't even want to even eat bacon substitutes. In fact, for them, the smell and idea of bacon is absolutely nauseating. The opinions expressed in this article sum up everything that I hate about living in America. It simultaneously manages to push a view on people who don't want to hear it (vegetarians should eat bacon), manages to be fanatical about something stupid (bacon is the greatest), tries to be funny and fails, and ignores all evidence opposing their belief (pork bacon is super healthy, albeit full of carcinogens, because it has less fat than bacon substitute!) - 12/15/2011
K K. Bacon is the great leveler. We host spiritual camping groups (for whom I cook) on our farm, and while I do cater to both veg and vegan needs, we are not vegetarian. We are lucky enough to have a real butcher in the neighboring town who makes old-world style cured meats, and I grew up on them. I cook bacon, cured and smoked locally - from local pigs - and folks can't get enough - even the raw foodies and vegetarians! - 09/20/2011
Andrea F. Vegetarians don't want a bacon substitute. Who cares about Morning Star and their fake bacon. We want vegetables. If you want to eat bacon, go eat bacon. I don't want to eat bacon, so I'm not even going to try the fake stuff. VEGetarians don't care for meat, duh! - 08/30/2011
Paige E. First, asking Anthony Bourdain for what boils down to parenting advice might not be the best idea. At least, not if you want a serious answer. Second, I wouldn't give too much weight to a seven year-old's "lifelong" vow to do or not do anything. Third, thank you Sheri Z. for your carmelized bacon recipe. It sounds divoon. Fourth, nothing in this story is worth anyone losing their sense of humor (or manners) over. - 08/01/2011
Tori V. In response to Jen T., all vegetarians are NOT like religious nuts. I have been a vegetarian, by choice for more than half of my life. And although I personally do not enjoy eating meat for various reasons, I have not and will not EVER look down on or try to "convert" my family or friends. In fact, I prepare a meat dish EVERY SINGLE day of my life for my family. I don't mind preparing meat balls or making scrambled eggs. I think meat is an essential part of the diet (I get my protein in various ways) and I would never let my family refrain from eating something so nutritious. BUT I get what you're saying and those "holier than thou" vegetarians give us all a bad name!! - 08/01/2011
Jennifer T. Vegan/Vegetarians are like religious nuts. They can never say "to each their own" and sadly shake their heads at us poor misguided souls. They have to frequently, shockingly, and rudely tell us how awful they think we all are. Do your thing guys, more power to ya. Just don't expect the rest of the world to have to accommodate you. I would never come into your home and expect you to serve me meat. You don't have to eat the ham in Spain, or the beef in Argentina, but just dont whine and complain when you find yourself eating side dishes for every meal. - 07/30/2011
Niel M. I should mention that "Healthy" isn't just defined by the nutritional facts. It's also about the contaminants in the food. Bacon is a dangerous meat simply because of the way pigs store toxins in their bodies. They're one of natures cleaners, and thus they're designed to store the garbage. Parasites and bacteria abound, and thus make it a more dangerous meat than others. People wonder why there is an explosion in cancer and heart disease related deaths, but they ignore many times, the fact that the foods being consumed are more and more processed, and less natural, raw, and uncontaminated. A shame really. - 06/30/2011
Jay M. Seriously, using Morningstar to judge all possibilities of soy-based Vegan food has to be the dumbest most uninformed thing I've heard. Apparently you spend more time eating pig bacon than you do reading food labels. As someone mentioned, Morningstar is the fast food of soy-based vegan food....which in of itself is dumb, because truly going vegan means staying away from such highly-processed foods. Vegetarians and vegans shouldn't be eating prepackaged foods in the first place. This entire comparison in one gigantic FAIL. - 06/28/2011
Ray H. What about my grandfather, a 90 year old farmer, out plowing his fields everyday at daybreak? He has eaten meat at least 3 times a day for his entire life. Bacon or sausage every morning. He still gets around fine and his mind is sharp. Maybe it's country living compared to city living. I don't know, but I'd rather follow in his footsteps than the healthy 20 somethings that are in great shape, but drop dead while they're running their 5k. Being a vegan or anything like it doesn't bother me in the least, but for me and my family, we'll continue to eat meat. I don't know anyone over 80 that doesn't eat meat, not to say they aren't out there. - 06/28/2011
Tim C. To Luke S... Are you really that stupid? Most of your "facts" are complete BS. Try using Google for something besides porn. ;-) - 06/28/2011
Rob H. Not so good for the animals, huh? Dip... - 06/28/2011
Luke S. Several bits of data here: 1) Classic paper on why an M.D. refused being a vegetarian over it being unhealthy: http://www.acsh.org/healthissues/newsid.760/healthissue_detail.asp 2) Re the "ethics" of vegetarianism, billions of mice, voles, foxes, shrews, etc., etc., are plowed under for grain and vegetable fields. Your sprout sandwiches are dripping with the blood of warm-blooded mammals not unlike yourself. 3) Over a substantial percentage of the Earth, grazing meat and dairy animals is about all that area is useful for WRT human food production. As that reduces the area needed for intensive cultivation, being an omnivore (rather than someone with the restricted diet of a vegan vegetarian) is the environmentally more responsible choice. 4) Unsupplemented vegans typically are nutritionally deficient in Zinc, Magnesium, and other dietary nutritional minerals. 5) As B-12 is not made in the human body, and is only found in animal products, any unsupplemented vegan who can survive is obviously getting some from animal products in their food. Alive long-term vegan = person with some meat in their diet (probably mostly insects). 6) For those vegans who take B-12 supplements, even if synthetic, it's still the concentrated essence of meat, without which humans cannot survive. It's usually considered better to eat the natural, nonsynthetic, less-processed food; so it is with meat as well, logically. - 06/28/2011
Pete V. Bacon and eggs won't hurt you but that white bread is poison. - 06/28/2011
Michelle M. This may be the stupidest article I have ever read. - 06/28/2011
Roy F. you are what you eat, so, I guess that would make Bourdain and is ilk.....pigs.... (PS: he needs to call his sponsor). - 06/28/2011
Jim M. Bacon is dead animal flesh. It is no different, chemically, from dead human flesh, or, as it is known in some circles, humacon. (I refrain in either case) All dead animal flesh is renamed so that the eater is safeguarded from the "distasteful" idea that the material was once part of a living being that was imprisoned and tortured for its entire life before finally meeting that painful, horrendous fate which awaits us all. - 06/27/2011
J D. No offense, but I am going to be interested in how long this guy lives with a food outlook attitude like that. "Bacon is the food of gods" ?????? Ha ha ! Couldn't be more wrong. Grapes has always been the "Food Of Gods". And fruit period. Meat didn't grow on trees in the garden of eden, lets be for real. God said "I give you all the fruits and herbs to eat" - He mentioned NOTHING about going to build a fire and kill all the enzymes in your food with it. Let alone eat meat. As a matter of fact God once banned the eating of Pork. As Pork is a very nasty pus filled meat with worms in it that you have to cook out of so they don't harm you, SO I KNOW bacon is not the food of gods you idiot. Come on ! I am not religious though, nor do I care about what you eat. I am just pointing out the idiotic statements this guy makes with hard core technical facts... that all. He also puts WAY too much on the whole food vibe. Yea, I should eat something that would kill me just to make another man in another country happy ? No thank you. Plus like I said, that attitude will get you to a heart attack or bowel disease very quickly. Eating less period, and fasting from time to time is very important. And trying to eat mainly live, uncooked vegetables and fruits. Anthony, you need to EAT TO LIVE and not LIVE TO EAT or you will die sooner than you need to like the rest of Americans these days. Obesity is killing this country, and it all stems from Gluttony. ODDLY one of the seven sins !!! lol - 06/27/2011
Vivian O. What is wrong with so many of you? Where is your sense of humor? Can't you laugh at yourself? Josh is a very funny writer and the article is well written. We all know what we are supposed to eat and what foods to avoid, we know that Americans are among the fattest people in the world. This past year I became a vegetarian for health reasons, but when I go to restaurants, I try to eat what they prepare well. Can't be a vegan because I eat ice cream every day. Sometimes I dream of breakfast tacos loaded with eggs, refried beans, guacamole, pico de gallo, crisp bacon--true ecstasy. Other times I crave buttermilk biscuits, and always hot fudge sundaes. You're right, I'm no sylph, but I have a great time with my food. - 06/27/2011
Jonathan R. To suggest that people who have given up meat with full knowledge of how it tastes will come right on back if you show them something delicious is, to be polite, faulty reasoning. You might as well write an article about a quitter's cigarette. It might be a great smoke, but people don't generally quit cigarettes because they don't like smoking. If you want to get vegetarians to eat meat, you're better off addressing their actual concerns - primary among them, the state of factory-farming in the US and the ethical treatment of conscious creatures. As for why you even care about other people's eating habits, that's an open question. - 06/27/2011
Sheri Z. food of the gods: carmelized bacon! cut the strips in half, lay out on a baking sheet covered in parchment paper, cover in 1/2-3/4 c. of brown sugar and 1/2 tsp. red pepper; bake at 350 for 20m; turn each slice, add another 1/2 c. brown sugar and a little more red pepper - cook for 15-20 more minutes.....let cool (sugar will harden) --- an amazing, amazing thing! - 06/25/2011
Irene K. Vegans are stupid. You need a balanced diet. - 06/25/2011
Paz S. Yes! Every fallen-vegetarian I know, and I know plenty, succumbed to the lure of bacon. Including me, several times. It's the only meat product that can't be convincingly substituted. The smell is almost irresistible. So, extra good points for those veges and vegans posting here who resist, or aren't tempted! - 06/24/2011
B R. As long as meat eaters can do what other meat eating creatures do - Hunt and eat raw you are fine. Else you are not designed to be one. Don't pretend to be a tiger or lion out there. You cannot survive without your tools. Pathetic pretenders. - 06/24/2011

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