Entertaining the Female Guest

August 15, 2010, By Tom McNulty 16 comments

Tom McNulty

Let’s say you’re an eligible bachelor. Let’s further suppose that an attractive lady has accepted an invitation for dinner at your place.

You rascal! You’ve obviously made a good impression on this woman: she trusts you enough to join you on your turf. All that’s left is to make your pad seem as cool as she thinks you are.

Laying the Groundwork

We’ll assume that you’ve got the dining and living rooms spruced up, mood music playing, and you’re making a meal that you’ve mastered in practice runs – simple, yet delicious.

You are so on the right track, my man! Females love it when men cook for them, especially when your date can sit at your kitchen counter with a glass of fine wine (essential) and watch you perform your culinary magic.

Movin’ on Up

You’re taking control of the evening, doing all the work. She’s relaxed and comfortable. She likes everything about this.

So since everything is under control downstairs, let’s fast forward to what any red-blooded American male hopes will be his guest’s last two stops of the evening – the master bathroom and adjoining bedroom.

The Bathroom

Any guest in your home will use the bathroom sooner or later, which is reason enough to keep it reasonably clean. For your date, even more stringent rules apply. Why? Because the route to your bedroom inevitably leads through your bathroom.

If it isn’t clean, uncluttered, fragrant and inviting, chances are it will be her last stop before heading home for the night. Here are the minimum requirements:

• Sink and surrounding area should be spotless.
• Shower enclosure must be mildew-free and smell fresh.
• There should be clean cotton hand towels near the sink.
• A dispenser of upscale hand soap should be there.
• There should be a clean mirror and good lighting. This is non-negotiable – it’s for her makeup.
• Medicine cabinet should contain a new, unwrapped toothbrush (a courtesy to her, just in case) and other basics (Q-tips, cotton balls, deodorant, shaving items, etc.). Avoid dried toothpaste on shelves and prescription bottles, please.

The Bedroom

This should be a serene, uncluttered refuge even when you’re alone. To make an impression on her:

• No mirrored ceilings, blacklight posters or red silk bedspreads.
• You can hardly go wrong with subdued, earthy colors, a nice white comforter on the bed and a few accent pillows up top.
• Everything on the bed should be freshly laundered.
• Cotton sheets and pillowcases should be 400-thread-count, minimum. This has everything to do with how sheets should feel: soft and luxurious. The higher the count, the better.
• Earlier in the day, freshen the pillows you’ll sleep on by tossing them into your dryer with a few fabric softener sheets for 15-30 minutes.
• Don’t worry about hospital corners (a Martha Stewart-ish way to tuck in sheets at the foot of the bed) – she won’t check for them. Nobody does, and very few people care.

Well, my friends, now you have the housekeeping tips that bear most directly on your quest for amore. The rest of the evening is up to you.

P.S. – Again, you married guys can apply all this advice, too. Pulling off an evening like this for your spouse will help you rack up some major points with her. And yes, she is keeping score…always.

Tom McNulty is the author of "Clean Like A Man" and is a featured contributor to Man of the House.