7 Rules: The Office Christmas Party
December 07, 2011, By Craig J. Heimbuch 0 comments
I'm sitting in a comfortable chair in a central sitting area of our offices. Looking around, I see a few dozen people, most of whom I have no regular interaction with, some of whose names I don't know or can think of at this moment. I spend upward of 50 hours a week in close proximity with these people. I eat in the same kitchen, use the same copier, restroom and wireless internet. But apart from spending most of my waking hours among them, what do we have in common?
Office parties.
Office parties are fun, particularly at the end of the year. It gives you an opportunity to let your hair down, relax, have a little fun, blow off some steam and a hundred other tired cliches. You get to reveal a little of yourself, the person you are in your off hours, to the people with whom you spend the most amount of time. Celebrate a great year, release the pressure of a tough one or just get a little loose.
But you've got to be careful. While the office party may give you an opportunity to open up and get to know your coworkers a little better, it also gives you an opportunity to make a grade-A ass out of yourself. Here's a few simple rules to not only surviving the office party, but maybe making them work for you and your career.
Rule #1 - Drink Less than the Boss And Everybody Else
Alcohol is the enemy of progress when it comes to office parties. It is the ally of embarrassment and awkwardness. Do a quick Google search on "office party mistakes" and it's easy to see just how quickly alcohol can turn a promising career into a spot in the unemployment line. Have a few too many and hit on the intern, knock the boss off the dance floor, or, heaven forbid, expel bodily fluids in any place they are not intended to be expelled and you could be sunk. Let the boss make a gaff. Let the guy in the next cube do the strip tease on the reception desk. Be like the guy who scores a touchdown and calmly hands the ball the ref—act like you've been there before.
Rule #2 - Overdress, Don't Dress Up
Unless your company invites a group of orphans to the party and the CEO has specifically asked you to play Santa Claus, don't be the guy who uses the office party as an excuse to wear his favorite reindeer sweater and elf shoes. Save those for the family parties, for get togethers with your closest friends or, better yet, for never. You also don't want to be too casual. Wear something one step nicer than you would to the office. If you wear a button-down to work, throw on a tie. If you wear a jacket, put on a suit. Treat the occasion as just that, an occasion. Be the best-looking guy in all the pictures that will float around in e-mails over the weeks to come. That's what you want to be remembered for, not the antlers you wore while chugging egg nog.
Rule #3 - Eat Before You Go
Something small. You don't want to be rude, especially if the party is catered. But you also don't want to have an empty stomach for that first champagne toast or be the one hovering over the crab dip. As with all things, moderation is key. If you have a sandwich before you go, you won't be so anxious to eat and will take more time to talk and socialize, making you Clark Gable instead of a Clark Bar.
Rule #4 - Be with Your Wife, Not on Her
There's a fine line between attentive husband and clingy overlord. If spouses are invited to the office party, you are her tour guide. It's your job to show her around, to make proper introductions, to keep her involved in the conversation by making it accessible to someone who doesn't work there. Be confident. Be polite. Talk to her and with her, but never for her. And never, ever, ever—under any circumstances—abandon her. This doesn't mean that you need to be creepy or a stalker, merely that you recognize that you are there as a unit. Leaving her to talk to an intern while you're off chatting it up with the boys from accounting is rude and noticeable to the people who notice such things. Plus you'll make your wife feel unimportant. How a man treats his wife says a lot about the man himself. So treat her right.
Rule #5 - Avoid Serious Shop Talk
You may not know what you have in common with your coworkers, but that doesn't mean you talk about only about work. The office party is the opportunity to get to know them better. You remember how to do that, right? You remember what it was like when you went to college and had to get to know the guys in your dorm. You are associated by employment and proximity, true, but you also found your way into the same industry and the people who hired all of you saw qualities that they liked. Find out what those are and, who knows? You might just make some friends out of colleagues.
Rule #6 - Avoid Gossip: Making it And Spreading It
Where behavior is concerned, you obviously don't want to do anything that will become gossip fodder the next day, but it's probably also best to avoid taking part in gossip altogether. I get it. I understand why it's appealing. What could be easier than joining in on a conversation about a client or boss? But you have to think about consequences. What if you're overheard and the next day the skuttlebutt isn't about the boss, but how you were spreading rumors about him? Or what if an intern posts something to twitter about what you said? There are eyes and ears everywhere, and the benefits of gossip are never as great as the rewards. Keep it clean. Keep it positive. Keep it safe.
Rule #7 - Listen to Your Karaoke Instinct
Can't stress this one enough. There are people, and they are exceedingly rare, that are good at karaoke. You are not one of them. If you wouldn't get up in the middle of a budget meeting and belt out a tune, don't do it at the party. Karaoke is like a Slinky or Silly Putty—it sounds a lot more fun than it actually is. If you have any hesitation, obey it.
