How to Survive Workplace Conflict

May 23, 2010, By Jeff Waddle 0 comments

Man, is it easy to get dragged into office politics and gossip. You may consider yourself the consummate professional, someone who just wants to do your job and stay above the fray and muck raking. But then someone ticks you off, or worse, says something about you behind your back and it gets back to you. Then human nature takes over and you’re suddenly waste deep in political muck, wondering how you’re ever going to get out.

Truth is, it’s hard to completely avoid office politics because it’s deeply engrained in about every workplace you’ll see. While some political situations are more toxic than others, about the best you can do is manage it. In some scenarios, you might even work it to your advantage, positioning yourself to be the good guy, the professional who is truly a team player.

You may never "win" at office politics but consider there are ways to survive.

1. Remember the Golden Rule

If you wouldn’t want a co-worker talking about you that way, then don’t do it yourself. Just say no when someone tries to drag you into a negative gossip session about a colleague. When a legitimate grievance is involved, acknowledge the harm done and the hurt feelings but stay focused on the facts and strategies for resolving the problem.

2. Don’t Believe Everything you Hear

It’s common knowledge that the office grapevine usually contains some kernels of truth, but wait until you know it’s the undeniable truth before reacting to it. If you’re not careful, your reaction to a piece of gossip can become a bigger story than the original gossip, and then you’re wading in the muck.

3. Avoid the Guilty by Association Syndrome

Everyone wants to fit in and be liked at work but just like high school, a typical workplace has cliques. Especially if you’re new and still learning the corporate ropes, be careful about being associated with the gossip or rumor clique. These do-no gooders aggressively recruit new members into their attack pack, so even a seemingly innocent invitation to lunch can get you labeled. It’s better to eat alone for a while than find yourself being cast in a negative light by association. The good thing is it won’t take long for you to spot them—they simply can’t keep their mouths shut.

4. Choose your Words Carefully

It’s sometimes next to impossible to avoid commenting on some political issues, but be tactful and err on the side of caution when you respond. The sage advice about counting to 10 before reacting to something that makes you angry is a good way to avoid saying something you might regret later. Better yet, just say "I need to think about that one," or make an excuse like you’ve got to make a call or go to a meeting and can’t talk about it right now. Buy yourself some time to think about what you should say.

5. Play Dumb

Playing dumb can get you out of some political situations. Saying you don’t know anything about that situation so they need to go talk to someone else about it might make the office whiner or rumor monger unload in someone else’s office.

6. Treat Co-Workers as Customers

A good way to avoid the worst aspects of office politics is to view your co-workers as customers or clients. Naturally, you treat customers with respect and discretion because without them, you don’t have a job. Well, without your team of co-workers, you’re likely unemployed, too, so don’t tear them down.

7. Look for Ways to Share Credit and Blame

It may be difficult to do when you’ve worked harder than the rest of the team to complete a project, but look for ways to gracefully share the credit. Likewise, step up and share the blame if a deadline was missed or something didn’t work as planned. Nothing makes allies in the office faster than being a team player and nothing makes enemies faster than pointing fingers.

8. Don’t Take it Personally

Like the old saying, "it’s only business," taking office politics personally almost always makes the situation worse. Remember, it’s not what someone says about you, it’s how you react to it that’s key. Somebody might be deliberately trying to upset you in order to take advantage of your moment of weakness. Again, choose your response carefully and reserve the right to think about it before speaking. You want to talk about gossip? Blow your cool and get in a public shouting match that is overhead by other people. That’ll do it.

9. Kill ‘Em with Kindness

Being helpful, happy and confident is the best revenge with the gossipers and backstabbers who are trying to drag you down into the same miserable cesspool they operate in. Don’t let them take advantage of your good nature, but look for ways to help your co-workers succeed. Everybody has good qualities, even if they’re hard to find in some people. Helpful and collaborative people tend to stand out, too, even if it takes the boss a while to notice.

10. Be Diligent and Competent

Don’t give the gossips and office politicians a reason to attack you. Show up to work on time, be accountable for your responsibilities and get things done on time and right the first time. Then, if you find yourself under attack, it’s a lot easier to defend yourself because you simply haven’t done anything wrong.

11. Get Management Involved

When all else fails, get management or human resources involved in resolving a situation. Sometimes, the gossip can be so vicious and politics so potentially damaging that you have to protect yourself from the appearance of being involved. You might be labeled a snitch by some people, but bringing some issues to management’s attention is simply the right thing to do.

Jeff Waddle is a featured contributor to ManoftheHouse.com.