Bully or Wimp—Striking the Husbandly Balance
December 03, 2011, By Wayne M. Levine 0 comments
Ever feel like you're between a rock and a hard place, forced to decide between the lesser of two evils, or damned if you do and damned if you don't? At these moments, remember one thing: you haven't considered all of your options. This bit of wisdom can be applied to almost all situations in your life, especially with your responsibilities as a husband.
When we're pressured, feeling anxious, or worried about pleasing, we tend to tighten up physically, restricting the blood flow to our brains, causing us to make less than ideal choices. Many husbands find themselves in this spot when a conflict develops, or when they're feeling powerless, frustrated or angry with their wives.
While in this debilitating state men believe their only options are to bully—and get what they want despite the collateral damage—or wimp out and walk away with their tails between their legs and their resentment in tact.
We don't need to make that poor choice. We should never have to choose between being a bully or a wimp. The trick is to learn how to be a confident and caring husband in every moment.
You may not want to admit that you're a bully. But you are being a bully when you're relentless, coercive, needing to be right, having to change her mind, threatening, withholding, badgering, intimidating, yelling, manipulating and, of course, being physical in any way.
You're a wimp when you're afraid of disapproval, conflict, difference of opinion or of her tone or expression. You're being a wimp when you're not in your power, not confident, not compassionate, not loving, not clear about what's right and wrong and not willing to take a stand for you or for those you love.
