Criticizing the In-Laws
February 02, 2012, By Greg Hoard 0 comments
We had just come home from a family gathering, one of those holiday events when you drag your feet to a party with the in-laws, one of those times when everyone—the brothers, the sisters, the parents, the aunts and uncles, all the family members—has a great many memories and experiences in common. Everyone except you, sitting there at some distance on the outside of a circle you can never truly or fully join no matter how long you have been married or in a relationship.
You've been there. You know what I'm talking about.
Back at home that evening, my wife turned to me and asked my opinion about a family issue, something one of the sisters or brothers was dealing with. After all these years, I really don't remember what the topic was. I do remember the result.
The party was a long one, and my tongue was a little loose. I said, "It's asinine. Idiotic. I can't even believe they would consider such a thing..."
Well, that's when the top went off. She exploded. She was infuriated. She defended her siblings, the idea.
"Wait a minute, you asked my opinion," I said. "I gave you my opinion."
I was summarily dismissed. "I'm going to bed," she said. That night, I slept on the couch.
In a short time, all was forgiven if not forgotten.
Some time later, we loaded up and headed to my family reunion in Kentucky. My wife had met some of the more upstanding members of the family, those I had carefully selected, but on the drive I explained that there would be some, well, eccentric, characters. In truth, that wasn't the half of it.
This was the year Aunt Olive almost blew-up the entire clan. Aunt Olive was confined to a wheelchair. She was also on oxygen, carried a tank along on her chair. At one point, with all the little kids running around, she wheeled over to the shade of a large maple tree, put the wheelchair in park, pulled out a Marlboro and a Zippo lighter and lit a cigarette.
Her son, Doug, my cousin, intervened and, luckily, there was no firebomb. No one was torched.
Olive said: "I just wanted a smoke."
