Emotionally Connecting with Your Wife

January 19, 2011, By 8 comments

Emotionally Connecting with Your Wife

I've always found physical connection easier than emotional. For me, I've felt closest to my wife when I am, well, close to her. But I've learned over the years - through failed and successful relationships- that it's not always the touch that makes for intimacy. Sometimes what she needs, what you relationship needs, is a stronger emotional connection.

Romance. You used to romance her all the time before you married her. She married you because you made that emotional connection with her. Think back to when you met your wife. What did you do to make her want a second date with you? Why did she say yes when you asked her to marry you? You got married because the two of you emotionally connected. Bring back that romance.

Love notes. They're simple and pretty much free but very powerful. Just a simple "thinking of you" or "I love you" on a little sticky note tucked in her jacket pocket or in the sugar bowl, or on the steering wheel of her car, can do wonders.

Be a gentleman. Open the door for her. Pull out her chair for her as she sits down. Open the car door for her. Stand up at the table if she stands up. These little things can make a big difference.

Physical contact. I'm not talking about sex. Hold her hand when you walk with her. Walk up behind her when she's at the sink and just wrap your arms around her. Rub her back before bed. And this is not to get sex but to make her feel loved and connected.

A phone call. When was the last time you called your wife just to tell her that you love her? Been a while? Start doing that again. When you're away, just give her a quick call and tell her that you miss her, you're thinking of her and that you love her.

Romantic greeting cards. Go to the greeting card section of a store. Look in the romance section or love section or the "just because" section. Take your time and pick out a romantic card for her. Don't wait for a special occasion. Just do it. 

Comments (8):

Will D. "if you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got". Don't expect your partner to guess what you want or like, he or she will probably make a lot of wrong guesses. If you want something and you have never asked for it, it's bad form to complain about not getting it. Now, that said, if you ask for something and your partner refuses to give it to you, there are other issues in your relationship. Honestly ladies, we're wired somewhat differently. Have you ever seen your guy sit around on Saturday and wish his best friend would guess that he's like to go fishing and call him to arrange a trip? We're direct creatures. We LOVE direct conversations. Try telling your husband or boyfriend exactly what you like and odds are, in our eagerness to please you we'll provide you with an excess of it. - 05/12/2011
Leigh H. Instead of walking up to her when she's at the sink and hugging her, why don't you do the dishes yourself? They are YOUR dishes in your home, which YOU used. Do the dishes and the housework regularly instead of treated her like your maid, and watch her get magically in the mood. (It is annoying to be patted when you're cleaning up after people.) - 04/13/2011
Violette C. Guys, let me tell you something, What begins to happen in a relationship is that a woman starts to believe that the only thing you are interested in is someone to clean their house and have sex with. When it is obvious you never spare a thought for us during your day or stir your dead a** to stop at a store and get a card or some flowers then we start to feel like we could be replaced with another woman and you wouldn't even care or notice. Most women think about our partners constantly, we try to keep your favorite beverage on hand, we try to do the little things you like and think really hard about getting you a gift you would like. When that isn't reciprocated we feel ignored and unappreciated. And DO NOT pull the "oh it's just a fake holiday so they can sell cards" BS. That doesn't fly. - 04/09/2011
Jaga G. Both man and woman worlds are so different.Only being as a simple human being we would be able to respond to another being concern.Strength in Relationship is very important for individuals and to raise healthy generation. - 03/10/2011
M B. The actions stated above are no better at forming an intimate emotional bond than sex or anything else we do for or with one another. What they can do is nurture and strengthen one if it already exists. This level of intimacy comes from knowing you trust one another to be open and honest and have each others' best interests at heart 100% of the time. - 03/05/2011
Bruce W. Why is a consumer goods business giving advice on relationships? If you're going to promote your brands, do it openly, not under cover. This comes across as sneaky and underhand - a naive attempt to exploit digital media. - 02/23/2011
Cc K. YES! YES! YES! Would you talk to my other half? If he would just do 1/2 of these I would feel like he really cares. After 20 years of marriage he just doesn't get it. Do you really think I want to live like this for the next 40 years??? Not everyone is looking for sex when they look outside of the marriage, they are looking for that connection that says you are special to me, you are important to me. Women just want to feel loved and protected and not taken for granted. - 02/15/2011
Lisa M. Yes, you have to keep the emotional connection alive. You also need to keep the sexual connection alive. It is a big part of a relationship. We all have to do our parts, but it doesn't help when one person in the relationship thinks they "WHATEVER" they do should be enough because they themselves are satisfied. Haven't eaten with the wife or kid in months? That is just fine....everything is fine.. - 02/07/2011

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