Home Projects Can Improve Your Marriage

November 02, 2011, By Greg Hoard 1 comment

Greg Hoard

She was standing in the bedroom, arms crossed over her chest. She wore jeans, and her hair hung in her face. After all these years, she remains sleek and sassy. Nature gave her curves and looks and smarts, and nature has preserved her.

It was mid-morning. She had that look in her eye. It was not the look I was hoping for. It was something else. After 20-some years of marriage, I knew this look. She had a project in mind.

This was the look I saw before she decided we should totally renovate the master bath, which took two months, the same look that preceded her decision to remove the box hedges in the front yard and take down six or seven large maples, a fir tree and a big magnolia.

"All of it, it hides the house," she said, back then. She smiled. I have never been able to resist that smile. So out came the chains and saws and down came the trees and the hedges, and, of course, she was right. With so much gone, the house and the yard looked better, cleaner. The house was showcased. It cost me most of a weekend and a badly scuffed hand, small expense for the look I received when the job was done and the look I have never stopped seeking.

Standing there in the bedroom, she tapped her foot. "We should re-finish these floors," she said. "They are looking worn. The floors are fabulous, but they need some care." The house is nearly 100 years old. She loves the house. She is all about improving it, preserving it. "We can do this is in a weekend," she said.

I didn't hesitate. You see, it's all about points. Points are important to a long-term relationship. Points are why I learned to attend symphonies, the ballet, art shows, fashion shows, five-star restaurants and why she tagged along with me across the country to baseball games, football games, basketball games and fried chicken dinners on the family farm. It's compromise. It's understanding, knowing what's important to the other person.

Together we hefted every piece of furniture out of the bedroom and into the great room. I wondered where we would sleep. "We'll sleep out here," she said. "It will be fun, like when we first moved in, like camping out." I wasn't sure.

We wiped down the floor with a damp towel, and while it was drying, we drove to the local tool rental store. We rented an orbit sander, a big old heavy thing, and three grades of sandpaper: 36, 80 and 100, the finest grade.