How to Be More Patient With Your Family
November 05, 2011, By Wayne M. Levine 0 comments
A common problem for a lot of dads is impatience. We don't want to snap at our loved ones, and yet too often we find ourselves doing just that.
Why?
The reason we're having an issue with patience is because what's happening right in front of us—our wife's request or our kid's soccer game—is competing with something else, something that's not in that moment.
Overcoming the challenge we're having being patient with our family requires us to examine what's going on in our cluttered heads. What are you thinking about? Work? Finances? Doubts and fears? Are you comparing yourself to others? Are you thinking about the car, house, job or woman you'd rather have in your life? Are you making each moment more about you than about your loved ones?
Whatever issue is intruding, it isn't real, but it's really screwing up your relationships and your ability to be the best father, husband, brother or son you can be.
To be present we have to start getting conscious. Most of us start out fairly unconscious as men. By "getting conscious" I mean paying attention to what's happening to you moment by moment. I mean acknowledging the feelings that are shooting through your mind, and the tension that's mobilizing in your gut, chest, throat or head. These are the clues, the signs. Understanding what's happening to you in the moment will give you the opportunity to make new, conscious decisions, and to be more patient.
For instance, let's imagine your wife or girlfriend is telling you about a frustrating situation that happened to her at work today. She goes into some detail about a conversation she had with a salesman regarding a computer component she needs to purchase for the office. It's a simple story. The sales guy wasn't very professional or helpful, and your gal wasn't getting the information or help she needed. That's the moment. All that's required is for you to listen. But you don't just listen.
Perhaps you had your own ridiculous interactions that day with idiots who weren't helpful. You know all about that. Besides which, she was asking the salesman the wrong questions or not even looking for the right component. You know about this stuff, too. You're getting a little impatient. You can cut this conversation short—and obviate the need to hear this annoying tale again—by correcting her and letting her know how she should have handled the salesman and what component she actually needs. It makes perfect sense. You're being helpful, right?
