Is Your Marriage in Trouble?

May 09, 2010, By Karl Withakay 3 comments

Women are emotional beings. As men, we all know this but that doesn't mean we understand it. You don't need to understand it. You have the power to change things for the better. The key to doing so is recognizing the signs that something is wrong with your relationship in the first place.

Lack of Sex

Women have a bit of testosterone but men have a great deal more, and testosterone is one of the key ingredients of your sex drive. It's normal for men to have a higher sex drive than women. If your wife is not giving you sex as much as she used to, or she's not into it like she used to be, talk with her about it. Don't make it sound like you're frustrated, though, even if you are. Just politely, and in a caring way, let her know that you're concerned about her because of her flagging sex drive. Ask her if she will consider seeing a doctor about it; she might have a hormone imbalance or she might be on medications that stifle her desires. If that's not the case, I don't care what she tells you, it's probably you. If your wife isn't being fulfilled emotionally, it's likely difficult for her to open up to you sexually.

Solution: Bump things up in the romance department a bit. It's not hard. All your wife wants from you emotionally is to feel loved, appreciated and to know that you are thinking about her. You can tell her you love her 10 times a day but you have to show her, too. Stop by the store and pick up a greeting card. Tuck little "I love you" notes around the house where she'll find them from time to time. Call her from work and tell her that you just wanted to hear her voice and that you love her. Think back to when the two of you were dating. You likely did a lot of things like that. Do those things that made her fall in love with you in the first place.

Lack of Affection

If she isn't holding your hand, kissing you on the lips and telling you she loves you, she may be trying to distance herself from you emotionally. Maybe she loves you but isn't in love with you. (Yeah, I know, I don't get that either.) Are you giving her a reason to want to hold your hand and be affectionate?

Solution: If you're not getting affection from her, refer to the above solution. In addition, send her some flowers while you're at work from time to time. Start doing things for her like being a gentleman. I'm sure you open doors for her and that's good. Step that up a bit. Start opening the car door for her, helping her on and of with her coat, and pull out the chair for her at dinner -- when you go out to dinner and at home.

If you don't have a reputation with her for doing things like this, she might get a bit suspicious. When she asks you about it, just explain it to her. Tell her that you realize that you haven't been all that attentive to her emotionally. Let her know that you're doing this all because you love her and that she really does mean the world to you. If you're not willing to go the extra mile to meet her emotional needs, you just might lose her. However, if you adhere to the above advice, in most cases, with a bit of consistency, she will melt in your arms, be affectionate and want to make love to you.