Getting Back Into the Dating Scene
July 21, 2010, By P.K. Lassiter 1 comment
Okay, so you’re ready to go on your first date. Well, not really your first date, but the first one since the invention of the DVD. Regardless, it’s been a while since you went through this exercise. The nerves, the anticipation, the hopes … they’re all speeding through you faster than the spinning wheels on your outdated cassette player. It’s like you’re 16 all over again.
But you’re not 16. You’re probably closer to a prostate exam than you are to prom. Don’t panic. Take a deep breath. I’m here to remind you this is a good thing.
I know what you’re thinking: the game has changed since you last did this, times are different, dating a woman isn’t the same. In the age of Twitter, Facebook and e-dating this doesn’t even resemble anything you remember. That’s what we see. But looks can be deceiving, and this is no different. The movie is the same - we just don’t watch it on VHS any more.
A successful date is well within the possibility. As a matter of fact it’s likely if you follow some simple guidelines (ones you already know).
The most important thing to remember is to be yourself. If you’re a chivalrous man, open doors and stand when she does. If you’re gregarious, be lively and sociable. Modest? Great. Be modest (just not silent). This is who you are and there’s no reason to change that. Trying out a "new you" on a first date almost never works out, and women will see right through you like Saran Wrap.
Secondly, don’t force it. Chances are you will know within the first 10 minutes or so if the date is going well. She’s going to know within the first 30 seconds. This is what women do. But there’s no pressure there. If she’s still engaging as the date goes on, if she is still asking questions, you’re doing well. There’s no reason to try and "make it happen," to create chemistry, to reinvent the wheel. This is not about meeting deadlines or paying the bills. This is a date. Which brings me to the final major point …
Have fun. Women are drawn to men who can be spontaneous, adventuresome, full of life. If you’re not having fun, she isn’t going to be either. Enthusiasm is a welcome addition on any date (as long as it’s not about your ex or your pets – then you’re in trouble). Show her how she makes you feel. Just keep it tasteful. Women love to see how they affect a man. And in turn this will affect them. It’s a fun, casual dance.
So dance that dance. Get out there. See what the dating world can offer you. Remember, a lot of the women out there are having the same feelings and anxiety. So relax, keep it simple, and be real … one successful date will lead to another, then another. And even though you’re not 16, before too long you’ll feel that way at heart. And that’s as timeless as prom itself.
P.K. Lassiter is a freelance writer and featured contributor to ManoftheHouse.com.
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