Have a Love Affair in Your Home
November 12, 2011, By Wayne M. Levine 0 comments
No matter who you are, what you're doing, where you're going or with whom you're speaking, you've got an underlying thought in your head that's guiding your every move, word and decision.
When you go to work, you could be thinking "It's only Wednesday? You've got to be kidding," or "I can't wait to kick ass today!" When you're sitting in the bleachers at your son's hockey practice, your thought could be, "When do these ridiculous 4 a.m. practices end?" or "I wouldn't want to be any place else."
And when you're about to open the door to your house to greet your wife, your thought could be "What fresh hell awaits me today?" or "There's a love affair in our home."
We call this underlying thought your 'context.' Your context affects every move you make. Every gesture, word, thought and all of your energy is coming from this place, whether or not you're aware of it. You can't fake your context. What's delivered will always be what's authentic. You may think you can fake it, but those around you—who are paying attention—will know. Your wife knows!
If you feel like you're faking it or that your relationship isn't what you'd like, you want to begin with a new context. Consider the sea change that could take place in your home when you jettison your current, negative context and replace it with "there's a love affair in our home."
What's a love affair look like to you? It would probably include doses of intimacy, great sex, humor, mutual respect and support, love, adventure, compassion, patience and romance. And what would you need to change to cause all of this to happen?
When you carry with you the context of there's a love affair in our home, it's with you 24/7. It's there when you wake up, when you receive a call from her during the day, when she asks you to do something around the house and when the two of you need to figure out how to discipline your hormonal teenagers. When you commit to this new context, it redefines everything you do with regard to your wife.
