The Importance of Dad and Daughter Time

November 08, 2011, By Kasie Baltes 1 comment

Kasie Baltes

Spending time with him was a given. It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t organized or scheduled—it just happened. Dad and daughter time for me was a fundamental asset to my childhood. From making sure I didn’t get off the school bus to an empty house to hitting the volleyball around in the backyard, those little things are what I remember. At the time I thought they were little things, but those moments are what developed an understanding and trust.

Brenna Hicks, Child Therapist, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and creator of The Kid Counselor.com, says that all those little moments are essential to developing communication.

“Spending one-on-one time without the distraction of phones, TVs, computers, other siblings and so on creates a connectedness that will grow and develop over the months,” says Hicks.

Creating this solid relationship with daughters can be a little challenging. You’re practically living in two different worlds. Her biggest worry may be when she'll be allowed to wear makeup, and you more than likely are carrying the weight of the world on your back—what parent doesn’t?

But it’s important to attempt to understand. Subjects like self-esteem, self-image and bullying are bound to slap you in the face when you least expect it. As a parent, it’s your responsibility to be ready. Ready for questions, ready to listen, ready to give advice on topics you may not be knowledgeable in.

The dinner table isn't the best place to bring up the subject of self-esteem. It can be uncomfortable, and you are sure to get a couple of eye rolls from your little girl across the table.

Hicks says the best approach is to create an environment at home that is encouraging and safe.

“Children naturally develop self-esteem and self-worth when allowed to try and fail, when given opportunities to learn about themselves and when provided with experiences that reinforce that they are important and loved for who they are,” says Hicks.

This is one of those learn-as-you-go lessons. That is why dad and daughter time is so important—this quality time creates conversation and puts everything in the open between the two of you.

If you are looking for ways to boost your daughter’s self-esteem, Brenna Hicks offers three ways to not only confront the topic, but also improve how your daughter feels about herself.

1. Give your daughter age-appropriate choices for empowerment.

Offer her the opportunity to decide between two options (outfits for toddlers, food for lunch for elementary, extracurriculars for middle schoolers and chore responsibilities for teens.)

2. Tell her you love her everyday.

Even when she is embarrassed and doesn’t say it back, she needs to hear it.

3. Encourage instead of praising her.

Focus on her efforts and actions, rather than the outcome. Instead of discussing the result—“Nice win!”—spend time processing what she did: “You worked hard practicing your jump shot.”

So take a little time out of each day to spend with your daughter(s). You may learn about Justin Bieber, you might end up at a few dance rehearsals but without a doubt, you will become the dad she needs in her life. The time you spend together won’t have to be penciled into a calendar, it will just be a given—she can go to you with any problem, and you will be there to lend an ear and your support.