Ranking Relationships

August 14, 2010, By Karl Withakay 0 comments

If you're a reasonably well-adjusted guy, you've probably managed to rack up quite a few relationships over the years. While you may feel you're too old for the whole "so-and-so's my best friend" thing, you do need to figure out a way to divvy up your time between the different people in your life.

Here are a few things to consider while you're deciding who to spend most of your time with.

Who calls who? I've seen relationships where only one person is doing most of the work. Are you the one doing all of the calling? If you are the one making most of the calls and plans, it may be in your best interest to put this relationship on the back burner. Let a week or two go by without calling the person and see how long it takes for them to call you. This is a good way to determine if this relationship is worth the attention that you give to it.

Is your friend a mooch? Does your friend only come over on Sundays to watch football on your 60-inch plasma TV? Does your lover only want to do anything with you when you're willing to spend money on them? Friendship and intimate relationships need to be about give and take; do not settle for anything less. If your friend is a mooch, put the relationship on hold.

Do they spend a lot of time criticizing you? Does it always seem like your friend or lover wants to change you? Who needs someone in their life like that? If you insist on keeping this person in your life, put the relationship on the back burner. Give your attention and time to someone who deserves it.

Do they make you feel good? Do you actually enjoy spending time with them? Do they like to go out and do fun things with you? Are they just a stick in the mud? If you don't enjoy their company, perhaps it's time to give them some space.

Is your friend a source of stability in your life? You certainly don't want to place an unstable relationship as your top priority. The unstable person will create a ton of drama in your life that you simply don't want. Ultimately, they will end up making you choose between them and other relationships in your life.

The most important person in your life should be the one who cares about you the most. Do not give up a relationship due to a friend who is jealous, since friends come and go in life.

I know what you're thinking. Who would put up with a friend or lover who is like this? The fact is, it's more common than you might think. Maybe it's time to put all your friends in a mental lineup and make an assessment on just what they offer you.