Rewiring Our Biological Hardware

August 28, 2010, By 10 comments

Rewiring Our Biological Hardware

Biologically, men have always had some innate drives, most of which helped to define our roles on virtually every level. Yet, times have changed and the role of being a man has become something nearly unrecognizable to those who came before us.The idea of being masculine now calls for a new set of qualities, and it demands a more flexible persona willing to bend rather than command. While many of the more dominant roles in society remain male driven, such as the presidency, CEOs, etc., the majority of men live in a place that makes masculinity something each one of us needs to shape in our own way.

So, how are we now perceived and what must we do to maintain a sense of manly self? Consider the following.

Say goodbye to John Wayne. Existing as stoic and independent won't work today. Instead, men now feel comfortable stopping to flick a speck of dirt off their new BMW as they head to a tennis lesson. Machismo has settled to the bottom of our character. Being masculine now requires you to be a touch softer.

Recognize women. Doing so years ago meant either staring at them as they walked by or realizing that they had jobs to do that revolved around you. But modern man no longer can see through those eyes. Sure, he can still stare, but expect to be called on it. Women have risen, and rightfully so, from objects to equals, which has altered the definition of man. Men now must see women for what they can do, and a man's ability to do so is directly related to his masculinity. A masculine man now sees the entire picture rather than just his perspective.

Wear pink. Imagine seeing a 1920s gangster show up at his favorite Italian restaurant wearing a pink polo. It might just happen today. A masculine man now is partially defined by how fearless he is in embracing his more feminine side. Men of the past would virtually burn their tear ducts closed, yet the modern man must now sympathize and empathize, shed a tear and give a hug.

Hold tight to sports. As masculinity has changed, the one part that has remained the same is a man and his relationship with sports. Sunday football and ice cold beer remain the true cornerstones of the past, and they are the ideal that men from the last century and today can all agree on. Women still give men their time in front of the television, and they may even excuse the occasional trip to a local sports bar with friends.

Overall, being masculine is a far broader ideal today. While a few small pieces of the past remain intact, the world has forever changed what it means to be a man.

Comments (10):

Jeff M. And the wussification of American men continues. - 08/08/2011
John K. I think this one is more accurate: The Secret to Women’s Heart http://www.faithfreedom.org/articles/free-thought/secret-to-women%E2%80%99s-heart/ - 12/10/2010
Kaelyn K. Feminism is defined as equal political, social, and economic rights for all people, regardless of gender. Being able to lift 400 pounds has nothing to do with equality. I don't understand how being a better weightlifter makes you superior to me. Real men are feminists. - 10/25/2010
Jeff P.
Jeff P. Appreciate all the comments shared on this article. Each of you have a point and this is a topic of discussion that is currently in the news. See the Newsweek article from mid-September about redefining masculinity. http://www.newsweek.com/2010/09/20/why-we-need-to-reimagine-masculinity.html Thanks again for the discussion. - 10/11/2010
Shaune P. I am sorry, but I this part of the site I must sincerely disagree with. Men are men and women are women. These are the behaviors that a feminist culture expect from men. Wrong! For a glimpes at masculinity have a look at the following http://www.artofmanliness.com. One last comment. As of late culture insist that women are equals. Think about this. If your house is burning down and a firefighter was your only chance of getting out of that house; I am pretty sure you would prefer that firefighter to be a man that can dead lift 400lbs. I heard too much of woman wanting to be equals. Sorry Charlie. We are different for a reason and we all have specific roles to carry out. Deal! - 10/07/2010
Ron M. Articles like this annoy me. The conclusion, "the world has forever changed what it means to be a man," gets to the heart of the ass backwards thinking in this kind of article. It's masculinity that is inherent and unchanging in human (and animal) nature. The present conditions in the world, and present political attitudes, are fleeting and ungrounded in anything important or permanent. This guy sounds like he's on a pretty short leash. His wife occasionally lets him watch a game on TV. When he's good, she might even let him out for a night with the boys. I'd say he's lucky if he still even has any friends. This tamed and emasculated man gets an occasional hint of what he truly is and should be, through the aggression and pride of competitive sports. But like a dog that wants to run free, or who smells blood, if he tugs at his leash, he'll be called to heal. This guy sees women as equals. In truth, it sounds like he looks up to them. He allows what he thinks women want to define him as a man. He wants the approval of women and of the feminized, politically correct society he lives in. He wants to be seen as respectful and in sync with that feminine mode of thinking. "Overall, being masculine is a far broader ideal today," he says. That's a sell out. The "far broader" is really a mixture of un-masculine principles with whatever he's been able to hang on to of his true masculine nature. It's the wearing pink, seeing women as equal or superior, being a metrosexual, abandoning his independence and inner strength, ... It's like someone in a communist or fascist state saying, "Freedom is a far broader ideal now than it was before." Really, they mean politics has replaced most of the freedom they once had. It's double talk. Masculinity doesn't change. You see masculinity in many animals that live in the wild, pretty much the same masculinity that we've always recognized, through all history, in all cultures, as humans. When you start the double talk about "far broader ideals," you're making excuses for having been compromised. At the end of the day, it's the weak men who look up to women, who allow women to define them, who relinquish their true masculinity and become tamed, who women themselves abandon in disgust. The fleeting standards of today's politics may make a woman say she wants a weakling, perhaps even believe she wants a weakling, but her feminine nature is also unchanging. The words she speaks don't change what she is and what she really wants, which is a real man to protect and support her and for her to admire and respect. The political correctness of the present day, which is often portrayed as the endpoint of human evolution, is in fact, not only contrary to our nature, but also irrational and immoral and out of line with the long strokes of human history. It's not permanent and it's not unchanging. It will twist and mutate over time and will eventually be tossed aside like all other irrational and immoral forms of oppression of the human spirit. There have always been weaker men and stronger men. The weak men will twist and mutate with the changing tune of politics.The strong men are still with us and always will be. - 09/29/2010
Michael P. I don't ask the question, "What does a woman want today in a man". I frankly don't care! I was on a dating site and I would like to paste a part of my profile that talks about being a man and what I expect from a woman. Politics and Values: I led combat teams in Viet-Nam; Politically, I am steadfast in ideals and flexible in mind. I believe it's your values that count. I tend toward the middle on some issues and on others pushing to the right or left of the spectrum. H.L. Mencken once said, "Government is the enemy of all well-intentioned, decent, industrious men". This is not far from reality. I am not the Allen Alda or Phil Donahue type. I have never felt the desire or need to embrace feminine behavior or characteristics. I am masculine and very proud of that fact! We currently live in a more compliant, self-indulgent age, the hero's of our society are no longer the great leaders and shapers of history, instead we take as our hero's, movie, TV, music and sports personalities. The admired virtues have become not those of strength and character, but those associated with the capacity to make an effect, the desire to please and be politically correct. In fact, one of the most marked features of the Western World, has been how ill-at-ease we have become with the stronger masculine values. The word machismo has become a negative concept. It has now become associated with, "hairy chested nut scratching rednecks". Macho is a Spanish term, it is a good word, and the fact that it cannot be translated exactly into English shouldn't cause us to use it as a term of scorn. The term implies a combination of elegance, flair, physical courage and grace, which simply does not have a synonym in English. Strength, honor and self-reliance seem to have disappeared, and we depend on others to protect us, our families and loved ones. Being a proud man, I make no apologies for whom and what I am. Being with me is to be safe, secure and if it should happen, to be loved. I have great passion for love and life. Being masculine does not mean being cold, unfeeling or lacking in tenderness towards the special people in one's life. I am a physical man, and love to touch and be touched. I am a strong man, and in recognizing my strength, I have the good sense to be gentle. My expectations of women: The woman who will join me on my life excursions needs to be special in many ways, integrity, honesty, strength, stamina, financial independence, a loving heart, unselfish, a need for physical intimacy as an important part of a relationship, faithfulness, and of course attractive, with weight proportional to height. These are the virtues I admire in women and people in general. So there is my idea of being a man! It has not changed since the time of my father, or his father, or his father before him. Frankly, if there are women that don't like my idea of being a man, pick another! As a side bar, I don't watch sports at all, and never have. I rarely drink. I believe I've had two drinks in ten years. I have played sports, baseball, football and hockey. I now lead trips into the wilderness for the Sierra Club. I am sixty-two and can paddle a loaded two person canoe loaded with gear by myself. I pack sixty pounds in my backpack on field trips and in season I snow shoe and cross country ski. After saving a number of women close to drowning in fast water, I have never been asked my age or my politics. In the Wild, as well as the political world of corporate America, as a VP for a fortune 500 company, it is leadership that is looked to. For those that have never experienced leadership, I feel sorry for them. They are doomed to play the guessing game, of what women want. Michael Parish parisihmp@aol.com - 09/28/2010
Loïc L. The question is : what kind of man does the woman want today? If you are an actual man you are rude and blunt, if you are not than you are not manly.. The balance of both attitudes has become a fine art to master these days.. Roles get confused, I wonder if one day men will be asked to carry the baby in their belly, because this is what equality means, isn't it? Some people got that one word a bit wrong in my opinion... - 09/26/2010
Bill O. please I was a champion Football player in High School Running back and def end Yes I played iron man in fact once was so cut up the ref had to send me off the field. I was hit by a car in high schooI which ended my football career early and thusly can not really stand by and watch others play, if I am not in the game I do not want to watch it. My exwife was very pleased by this. I as a macho as they come but if it has to be watching others in glory then forget it... However I do/did watch the Americas Cup Races at 3:30 am that pissed of the ex severely. So to each his own. - 09/24/2010
You Know W. Bro, you write well but this is garbage ;). Man up, wus! You need more real men in your life. Softy...pink? Seriously? John Wayne is not dead! Recognize women? Puke...give me a stack of ones and point me to the nearest stripper pole! ;) - 09/17/2010

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