Online Dating Tips for Men
April 12, 2010, By Craig J. Heimbuch 2 comments
Quick: How many weddings did you go to this year where the couple met online? One, two, more? As we connect more and more through the Internet, the number of single folk looking for love online increases. According to Match.com stats, more than 100 couples a day get married because of their services. eHarmony boasts a similar number.
If you’re willing to give online dating a try — or maybe even a second or third try — consider the Three P’s. The right approach could mean the difference between lonesome and in love.
Photo Op
- Include a profile photo. Even if you are determined to find a woman who could care less about your comb over, Miss Dream Girl will most likely pass you by without a pic. A blank space raises a ton of red flags like, "Is he married? Is he in a serious relationship? Even worse, pathetically insecure?" In a woman’s mind, none of these scenarios are worth getting into.
- Edit your photos. Include photos of you immersed in your interests. Think travel pics, action shots, or even just you relaxing with friends. In every case, crop out old girlfriends or ex-wives. And if you’re divorced, omit photos that show your wedding ring. PS: Keep your shirt on, too.
- Cute Kids. Do you have kids? This is a tough one because posting pictures of them seems to be a grey area. Some women like to see you with your brood, while others would like to hope to get to know them on their own terms. This is one that only you can answer.
Profile Prowess
- Positively Interesting. Don’t limit yourself to adjectives. Give yourself some credit and show her how awesome you are with positive, interesting details that intrigue her.
For example, you may be someone who loves to try new things.
Good: "I recently went to a new Vietnamese restaurant and loved it."
Bad: "On a dare, I wore my dog’s collar and ran through an electric fence."
Are you a risk-taker?
Good: "Every summer, I go rock climbing with a group of friends."
Bad: "I’ve been tased."
Maybe you know exactly what you want.
Good: I have enough life experience to trust my instincts.
Bad: I only date attractive women. Don’t write me if you’re not hot.
- Spell Check. If your profile has misspellings, punctuation errors, or any ALL CAPPED DIATRIBES, you might want to invest in a proofreader. Sloppy presentation may tip her off that you’re not taking anything seriously.
- Yeah, Right. You may be a sarcastic kind of guy and that’s cool. But sarcasm generally doesn’t translate in an online dating profile. So while it might be funny to you and to people who know you, it can only backfire online. Think of it this way: dazzle her with your sarcastic wit on the first date.
Don’t Be a Pansy
- Generic-Proof. Women are savvy online daters and can spot a phony from 8,000 pixels away. If you use a boiler plate email reply, she’ll probably feel turned off by the lack of personalization. So include a few details in initial emails that show you pay attention like, "What’s your favorite spot to run in town?" or "Tell me a little bit more about your dog." If you don’t include these, she’ll hit "Delete" faster than you hit "CTRL+C," "CTRL+V."
- Ask her out. In the world of online dating, two or three introductory email exchanges are expected. But there comes a point when it’s time to either talk or meet face to face. If you perpetuate the Downward Spiral of Email, she’ll either lose interest or begin to wonder what’s really going on. And remember, she’s online with other guys, too — probably a few who aren’t scared. If you’re interested, find a way to meet her.
Everyone’s online dating experience is different — some good, some great, some never worth repeating. But if you present yourself with the best chances for success, you can walk away whenever you want with your head, and your heart, held high.
Craig Heimbuch is the Editor-in-Chief of ManoftheHouse.com and the author of "Chasing Oliver Hazard Perry." He is a Barefoot Proximity employee.
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