5 Rules for Office Bathroom Etiquette

June 15, 2011, By Craig J. Heimbuch 26 comments

Craig J. Heimbuch

My gosh, you write one fun little article about the importance of having some manners in the men's room and you'd think I just told every man in the world that they could no longer stand up to pee. The comments on that article are, for the most part, pretty vitriolic and many—including several menacing e-mails I received—have questioned everything from my self-confidence to my patriotism. Only here's the thing—I'm not wrong. Frigid as I may come across, the story was meant to be lighthearted but truthful. I won't apologize for not wanting to be splashed on by an inconsiderate urinal neighbor, nor will I ever feel comfortable with some creepy guy talking to my three year-old while his hands are being used to aim. If that means I have issues and somehow hate America, so be it.

There were a couple of readers who left comments or sent me an e-mail describing their pet peeves in the bathroom and several of them had to do with the bathroom at work. This got me thinking, and I set about observing some best practices employed in our office by my male coworkers, to wit, I have devised this list of five rules for the workplace bathroom. I have little doubt that there will be haters and those who feel the need to write the angriest, most vile of comments and notes. Fine with me. I can take it. I guess I just wonder what they get so angry about. No one forced them to read the story; they did it of their own volition. And, I guess, some people just really don't have a sense of humor. That, or they enjoy being peed on.

Without further ado, here's my list of five rules for work bathroom etiquette.

Rule #1 Clean Up

I work in a busy office. There are constantly people coming and going, clients and vendors in and out. It's a pretty casual place, and we take a great deal of pride in our ping-pong table, flip-flops and roving herd of golden retrievers. But there's a fine line between casual cool and sloven mess. Sink tops and counters seem to be the most obvious place to start. I hate it when I go into the bathroom and find puddles of viscous soapy water below the paper towel hanger. It's one of those things that makes a statement about the level of care employees have for their workplace. Unfortunately, it's the wrong kind of statement. A group of people who can't wipe up the counter may cut corners when it comes to the work they do, and the last thing you want is for a client to draw the same conclusion (however far-fetched) after an office visit. Take a second and an extra sheet of towel and wipe it up.

Rule #2 No Shop Talk

While it may be fine to discuss the financial plan amid the cubes, doing so in the bathroom just feels awkward. I drew this conclusion when working for another company. I was standing at the urinal when the boss walked in. He sidled up next to me—shoulder-to-shoulder—and while making loud splashing sounds and letting out a couple of percussive gas bubbles, he began talking about projections for quarterly ad revenue. I liked that boss and actually wanted to hear what he had to say, but I found it distracting among the din of such biological transactions. It's not that business can't be done in the bathroom, just that it probably shouldn't. If a topic is that important, you probably need the undivided attention of the person you're speaking with and won't get it in such a vulnerable state. Wait five minutes, then we'll talk.

NEXT: Rule #3 Have an Escape Hatch