DadStuff: The Offerman Mustache Comb
December 11, 2011, By Craig J. Heimbuch 0 comments
Two words: Ron Swanson. The very sound of those melodious syllables stir a chorus of manly thoughts in my mind. Woodworking. Survival. Claymore mines. Steak. Libertarianism. Ex-wives named Tammy.
On the off chance you have no idea what I'm talking about, Ron Swanson is the anti-government department director on NBC's "Parks and Recreation." He is the old school, tough as nails, never stirred, never shaken alpha dog rocking the most envious mustache in all of Pawnee, Indiana. As an archetype, he falls somewhere between Davy Crockett and Bob Villa. He is, in a word, the man many men wish they could be.
And he's expertly played by veteran actor Nick Offerman. Married to Megan Mullally—the funny one from "Will and Grace"—and you may have seen him in "The Men Who Stare at Goats" or on "Deadwood," though neither of those matter nearly as much as Ron Swanson. None of the dozens of lines on his IMDB page matter nearly as much as Swanson, whose prediliction for wooden boats and fine craftsmanship reflect Offerman's own passion in one of those art-reflects-life kind of things you can't really fake, but so many people try to.
It's pure conjecture, but I'm guessing the stability of a starring role on a network sitcom has allowed Offerman to pursue his woodworking, to make it bigger. I'm probably wrong, but if I had his mad, crazy skills and a steady paycheck, I'd probably do the same thing.
Enter the Offerman Woodshop.
There are a lot of actors who dabble in other things. Patrick Dempsey is a racecar driver. Harrison Ford is a helicopter pilot. Keanu Reeves plays bass in Dogstar. (Okay, that last one was a bad example. I mean, it supported my point, but it is just bad.) Yet, Offerman, based on the products available on the Woodshop site, seems like the only celebrity who became a famous actor as a back-up plan to what he was really good at. And he's really good at acting, so what's that tell you?
Truth be told, there are about 20 things a dad could lust for on the Offerman Woodshop site, but the Offerman Mustache Comb is that rare product that bridges the gap between fact and fiction. Made by the hands that belong to the face that play Ron Swanson. Pretty awesome. I'm thinking about getting one even though my Movember mustache is gone. Maybe I'll use it on the dog. Maybe I'll just stare at it and think manly thoughts.
